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When He Says “I Want to Take Things Slow”

Dating advice with Niko Emanuilidis.

Patricia Vilchez
3 min readDec 27, 2024
Photo by Frank Uyt den Bogaard on Unsplash

— What if he doesn’t want to rush into anything and wants to wake things slow? How slow is too slow?

First things first: what I always say is, there’s no such thing as “taking it slow,” okay? There’s one speed — the right speed. What’s that? One date per week for the first month, and then things start to ramp up a bit.

Could you go a tad slower than that? Yes, and I still think that’s fine. In my opinion, “taking it slow” might mean skipping a week here or there, but overall, there’s a positive trajectory. You’re feeling good about the way things are going. He’s communicating with you properly.

Now, if a man says, “I want to take things slow” and gives no context, that’s a red flag. Translation? He’s likely juggling multiple women and just wants to keep his options open. He’s out there “banging a few people out.”

But if he says something like this:
“Hey, I just want to be upfront about where my head is at. I know we’ve been on three dates or so, and I really enjoy getting to know you. I want to keep this going because it feels great, but I’ve realized I tend to jump into relationships too quickly. In my last relationship, I rushed in and it didn’t work out, so I’m trying to take my time to make sure this is

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Patricia Vilchez
Patricia Vilchez

Written by Patricia Vilchez

A young woman living and dating in Paris, sharing my experiences and some life lessons advice I pattu.v01@gmail.com Check out my podcast: Dating in Paris

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